I keep saying that I’m going to come back and write again. I just haven’t found the time or energy between all the classes I’m taking, applying at potential transfer schools, and searching for a new job to replace the one I hate but pays me well to do absolutely nothing.

The past few months have been an emotional rollercoaster. And I’ve been dealing with a few issues that I pushed aside and should have addressed months ago. Add to that, I’m going out of town this weekend to visit with one of my best friends, Christy. I don’t think Chicago will be the same when I leave!

So if you pray, keep me in your prayers — and maybe I’ll find inspiration for a post or two. At least a new picture.

Everytime I think I’m going to have time to blog more — school starts again and I realize I barely have time for myself in between work and school that this blog has taken a back burner.

Of course, I also tried to throw myself under a bus (i.e. get back into the world of dating) and I realized that I could quite possibly develop a hatred for most, if not all men.

I realize that all men are not bad but the ones that I’ve one across lately are clueless. After being stood up for a date by Nick, a guy that I met online — I did what any self-respecting woman would do, I deleted his number. Lo and behold, a week AFTER the missed date, he calls and asks when he’s going to get to see me. It took everything I had to not laugh openly in his face and just respond with, “never.” The sad part is that he couldn’t understand why I would say that we couldn’t meet up. After all, I just ended a relationship with a selfish, self-absorbed, inconsiderate a**hole, I most certainly wouldn’t want to intentionally start a relationship with another one.

There were of course, other crazy dates, and I’ve decided, at least for right now, that I’m just going to take the opportunity to enjoy the company of one of my best guy friends, Jay. He’s funny and is able to hold a conversation on about anything — and he’s good looking. Can’t ask for much more than that.

So I haven’t written in awhile. Since Valentine’s Day actually and though I’d like to say that not much has changed — it seems like everything has. Change is inevitable and I definitely think it’s a good thing.

The first weekend in March, I went to the Arnold Classic Expo. It was everything that last year was and more. I’ve now started my own business, bought a Palm TX so that my life can be more organized and even though my hectic school and work scheduled prevented me from going to the gym and I gained (unfortunately) almost all the weight I lost last year — the guys still think I’m sexy.

My school quarter is wrapping up. Only 2 more weeks left and I have a week to sleep in and do some things that I enjoy. I have a couple of vacations planned for the summer and two work events already on the calendar!

The only not-so-bright thing that’s happened is that the boy and I have called it quits for good. It’s almost more of a relief than anything especially when you realize that the other person simply can’t give you what you want, desire, and need.

And while I’m not jumping head first into any new relationships, I am taking up the few offers I received at the Arnold for a few dates. Having fun — is definitely a priority of mine the next few weeks.

So I’m going to share some of the Arnold excitement with you guys, its a picture of me, one of the most amazing men in the world, and my friend, Nas.

 The man in the mask is no one other than….

Kevin Levrone. Isn’t he yummy?

Normally, I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day & this is definitely not a result of anything that happened between the boy and I. It essentially is because my very first romantic relationship in high school was with a guy who’s birthday was on Valentine’s Day. I wanted him to have a special day. So, I said, to hell with Valentine’s Day — it’s your birthday and we’re going to celebrate it since I make such a big deal out of my birthday every year.

So I started my day off right, I called him and wished him a happy birthday. Then I started doing things for me. I got my hair done. I got a pedicure. I bought some furniture.

Finally, the living room of my apartment is going to be furnished. And the boy is going to help me pick it up on Saturday.

Update on the boy: We’ve decided that we’re going to give it a go at a fresh start and see what happens. It helps that he bought me a V-day gift to go see my favorite college basketball team play….lol.

So far, so good.

I hope everyone had a wonderful day! And I’m going to enjoy the rest of my day hanging out with my friends at our usual Thursday night spot.

Things between the boy and I are over. And while I’m sad and heartbroken — I’m trying to just find peace with everything that has happened.

Since my birthday (which was at the beginning of the month), I’ve been betrayed, had my heartbroken, made an amazing new friend, and reconnected with an old one. I’ve also moved out of the boy’s house, lived with my best friend and her son, and found a new apartment all by myself.

It’s odd, but I’m looking forward to a little time alone.

I have quiet & space, yet I also know that my friends will be there when I need them. I have “my Jay” back and I never realized how much my friend Jay meant to me until all this stuff went down.

So it’s not so much that it’s over…I’m optimistic for a new beginning.

I haven’t written in such a long time because I just wasn’t sure how to put together the words to describe everything I’ve been going through.

Christmas was wonderful — and then I had a birthday.

I did my typical birthday party thing — dinner with the girls and then out to some bars/clubs where the guys meet up with us. Then I was blindsided by an incident that almost caused the end of my relationship with J.

Needless to say, writing was the last thing on my mind. I needed to sort through the jungle of emotions in my mind & heart. First and foremost, I needed to figure out if the relationship I had with J was healthy, if it was repairable, or if I even wanted it anymore.

Last week, we decided that it was something we could work through. Our conversation brought some closure to some issues and awareness that we still had a lot of issues to fix. Nothing too major — just things to work on. And we determined that both of us, still want the same thing.

After all that, school started again and I find myself tackling a full-time course load, working full-time, and trying to find some time for me in all of that. Oh — and I’m moving at the end of the month (Lord willing). So it’s a busy time, but a good busy time. I’m not stressed — for the first time in ages even though I have more on my plate.

I’m starting my dance classes again and I’m hitting the gym hard core yet again. (The Arnold Classic is about a month away!)

So if you pray — keep me in your prayers. If you don’t, at least send some good vibes my way. I could use them.

There are some things that should not be re-gifted. Mainly, those things are anything that is used.

Apparently, my mother’s boss did not get that memo, or simply didn’t care as she re-gifted my mother a book. A book titled, “Life’s Little Instruction Book.”

The covers were perfect. No page was bent. Yet…

And had it not been for the inscription located inside the cover, no one would’ve known it had been re-gifted. Worse yet — it was given to her in 1991 — hence the Happy 1992 that you can make out in the photo.

So my mother — gotta love her –returned it to her boss this morning while implying that her boss never read the book. Because, if she did, she would’ve realized that one of life’s little instructions is to never re-gift a book that has an inscription in it written to you.

I’m reading through the newspaper online today (as I hate dirtying up my hands with the paper) and I run across an article that claims that Santa was fondled.

Apparently, a Santa in the Danbury Fair mall in Connecticut was “sexualy assualted.”  The person who assualted him? A 33 year old woman who was quickly found and apprehended because she was…on crutches.

To make the story complete, reports are that the 65 year old Santa was “shocked and embarrassed.”

I’m just mildly amused.

While J and I were in Florida, we went to this over priced restaurant in Orlando. The food was great with satisfying portions, and we had a great time with all the work crew. We tried a bottle of my favorite type of wine (Riesling) with dinner and I mentioned what my ALL-time favorite type of this wine was, heck, I even know the year.

I don’t know why it caught me by surprise, because I already know he’s incredibly thoughtful, but last night, he brought home my favorite wine and cooked dinner.

I have a great boyfriend. *smile* Just thought I’d share.

I’m done wallowing now. In fact, I’m in sunny, hot & humid Florida and enjoying myself.

This is my first time in Florida since my eX and I broke up. And even though I found myself getting oddly sentimental at the airport, God found a way to insert some comic relief so I didn’t dwell on that much. There’s something about a six foot something white guy with dreads that hang all the way down to his knees that makes you laugh & smile.

It’s been great here though. I’ve had a lot of “free” time to explore Orlando “my way.” The boyfriend is actually here for a work conference and I’ve been lounging at the hotel…and the hotel is freaking amazing.  There’s a mall right across the street that I walked to today. (I was only outside for about 5 minutes before deciding that I was wearing way too many clothes.) All in all — absolutely wonderful.

Oh and my checkbook is not overdrawn (something that could’ve happened) and I get paid tomorrow!!!

I realized that self-pity is not a place I want to actually visit all that often. School was stressing me the f*ck out…and Thanksgiving brought up some feelings I thought I had long dealt with.  Through it all, I realized that I have the greatest boyfriend in the world. I know, every girl says that. I just can’t remember the last man that let me just lay in bed and cry and didn’t act like I was overreacting about stuff besides my grandpa.

Although I just became aware of it all, I have a LOT to be thankful for this year. It’s better to realize it now, than later, right?