…the way forward…

I spent a lot of time thinking about what to show for HNT this week. I’ve shown some pretty risque things, so I figured I’d make it PG-13 this week. Heck, it’s G-rated this week. But I figured I’d show off what some consider to be my best feature.

This week has been kinda crazy so I haven’t been doing much of it this week — so maybe this will inspire someone to do what I normally am ALWAYS doing — Smiling.

Have a Happy HNT everyone.

She’s marrying my ex and she’s upset at me?? Yeah, as if I thought the situation between her and I could not possibly get any worse.

I am too understanding at times, and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. So despite everything that had recently been revealed to me, I was amazed that I wasn’t too upset. In fact, I didn’t really care that much except that there was a noticiable tension on the line when we talked. I seldom hold back so I just asked her, what’s going on? Are you mad at me about something?

She stuttered around just like she did when she originally told me about her plans to marry and then came out with the shocker. A friend told me that you and my child’s father were f*cking behind my back. My response? We were wha??? Yeah, alright…ok whatever.

So I probably didn’t offer the most reassuring answer, but I didn’t feel like, at that moment, that I really needed to answer to anyone. I could have started exclaiming, I would never do anything like that to you! You’re my best friend! How dare you think something like that? I just didn’t feel like I should have to. I figured that maybe after 10 years of friendship, a million and one bad relationships suffered through on both of our parts that she would know what kind of person I am. I am, perhaps, too concerned about “appearances” at times and the main reason why I wouldn’t do anything like that is I’m too concerned about my reputation. Even if her and I were fighting or I “hated” her at the moment — I still wouldn’t do anything like that. It’s just not me.

I didn’t even ask her who had told her such a preposterous story. I know exactly who it was. The ex of mine that she’s so intent on marrying. He had previously told her similar stories like this when she was pregnant with her youngest child. And because of that I had made every effort not to be around her child’s father, not to talk to him, I used to leave the house as soon as he would arrive there — so much that he thought that I hated him. I didn’t — I just didn’t want sh*t to be said. Maybe I was too careful. Maybe I was too careful about what people might say and not careful enough when I was choosing my friend.

In the spirit of change and in recognition of the boredom I have been experiencing here at the office, I decided to change the template for my blog.

Good times.

I’m not sure what my response should have been, but I’m pretty sure that I didn’t give the right one when my best friend called and announced ten minutes into the conversation that she’s marrying my ex-boyfriend. She didn’t really seem excited, nor did she seem like she was having trouble relaying this information. It was kind of casually dropped in, like a comment about the weather, without much emotion whatsoever. So, without thinking, I just said, ‘oh really? that’s cool.’

My ex and I didn’t have much of a relationship at all. I knew within 20 minutes that this wasn’t the kind of guy I’d waste time dating — I surely would entertain a good f*ck or two, but once I realized that stimulating conversation was out of the question and his c*ck was inferior to all others I had ever had — I was done with him quickly.

So it perplexes me, especially when she knows what she’s dealing with, why she would get involved with him. It’s also obvious that even though we’re, we’ve never liked the same kind of guys — so him being my reject might just mean he’s perfect for her — but I doubt it. I think she just has poor choices in men.

Ok, so I checked my statcounter today. I hadn’t checked in a few days, being as I’m not as obsessed as I used to be — but honestly, someone found my website by looking up “b*tch put your clothes back on.”

What???? I looked furiously through all of my comments wondering if maybe someone had said something about me being naked? I didn’t find anything (if anyone else does let me know)…but that just makes me ask, who the h*ll searches for something like that?

I guess it doesn’t matter — No, I will not put my clothes back on. There will be more Half-Nekkid Thursday for me next week.

HNT came way too soon this week. Maybe it’s because I’ve been ill and really didn’t feel like taking any new pictures. So, dilema solved, I’m using a not so recent one. I feel like I’ve exposed all the ‘good’ parts so far, so I’m eventually going to have to do something original and show something more than t*ts and a** (not that I think the male readership minds.)

So here’s a picture of my…ahem…a**.

We haven’t seen each other in over a year. I make it a point not to answer the phone if I know that he’s calling. Every once in awhile, he leaves me a voicemail that catches me off guard and I’m not sure whether to delete it or keep it for posterity.

“Hey it’s me I was calling to let you know that there’s a couple of things that I miss about you. I…let me think…I miss the fact that um, jsut going to Wal-Mart and hanging out, I miss the fact of talking to you on occasion…and you’re going to be really mad and upset at me, but I miss the fact of being able to f*ck you whenever I felt like it, or whenever you felt like it, or whenever we both felt like it. Cause I was just driving down the road and remembering how soft your lips felt around my c*ck and hwo you used to s*ck my d*ck, like so good and I remember b*sting a n*t inside your mouth and how f*cking incredibly awesome it felt. And I miss sticking my c*ck inside your p*ssy….and oh my god, I’m so f*cking h*rny…

Well, if you get that little inkling of urge — call me back. You probably won’t, but oh well. Talk to you later, bye.”

I had promised myself that I wouldn’t write another post about football. After all, I didn’t want to reveal that I’m such a hardcore sports fan that I broke up with a guy when he called me during the NCAA championship basketball game. I just couldn’t resist. The Cowboys did it again. THEY WON!

Now, I’m not one of those people jumping on the Cowboys bandwagon just because they seem to be having a pretty good season. I’ve been a fan through the good and the bad (the most part of the past few years). I’ve rooted for them. I’ve voted for them in every football pool I’ve ever entered. They’ve cost me a lot of money and now I’d finally get paid back — except I’ve quit betting on them.

I was thinking that my Cowboys wardrobe definitely needed a makeover, so I went to their website to seek out some new attire. WTF!??! Why is everything that is marketed for women, pink or baby blue?? EXCUSE ME. I’M A COWBOYS FAN!!! The color of my team is not pink? Why in the world would I want a pink f*cking hat with a Cowboys star on it??

I found a shirt and a cute little bathing suit, that unfortunately, I can’t wear until next summer or when I venture down south to visit a few friends and it’s warm enough to go swimming. But they’re not in pink and that’s all that matters.

Until next week — GO COWBOYS!!!

I’m such a devoted fan…

I met a new guy this weekend at the club. He was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. The bad part was he spoke very little english. Usually, that doesn’t matter since it’s not like you expect to have a conversation over the booming bass coming out of the speakers.

Apparently he wanted to impress me with his English fluency so we sat down, he looked intently into my eyes and said, I need to fuck. I replied with nothing other than the standard, really? To which he repeated, even more emphatically, I need to fuck. He was cute, but I wasn’t in for the one night stand I knew this situation would provide so I pointed at my ring finger on my left hand and told him that I was married. He asked me, is he here? I said no, to which he responded, then so what?

So what? — I think that’s got to be my least favorite line next to what’s your man got to do with me? The truth of the matter is that all these guys claim to want to find a woman who’s faithful and true…but I guess that only applies to when the woman is in a relationship with them. It means absolutely nothing if the woman is in a committed relationship with someone else.

At the end of the night, he was using his cousin as an intepreter to tell me that I was going home with him that night. No, he didn’t ask if I wanted to come over, I was just supposed to go. And do what? Sex? Hardly. I have a hard time ‘performing’ when things are expected of me. We’ll just say I’m a tad bit stubborn. F*ck it, I am stubborn. I am a generous woman by nature. I’m perhaps too nice at times, but when someone starts expecting something or demanding something, it becomes one of those things that I just will not do.

Bottom line: He would have had a greater chance of getting laid if he had just told me that he wanted to take me out to dinner…

Truly. That’s what he said to me this morning. I’ve always considered myself to be quite brazen, rude at times, blunt, to the point…but an enigma? Really? I’m nothing of the sort.

He misquoted me during conversation. I said, all your sexual desires will be fulfilled. He quoted me as saying, I will fulfill all your sexual desires. I said his sexual desires would be fulfilled, I just didn’t say that I would be the one fulfilling them. (Maybe I have a career in fortune telling).

I’ve probably revealed more of myself to the blogworld yesterday than I have to the guy, but I don’t feel that qualifies me as an enigma. I’m just not that complicated — but I’m more than t*ts and a**. I have a brain and I use it. I wonder if that’s the puzzling part to him.

**Just a random rambling post…**