…the way forward…

So…the boss finally got the bad news that I am in fact resigning from my position. In honor of that decision, instead of me working one more week as planned, he graciously gave me the week off.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure you all know what that means.

On the other hand, it gives me time to take care of some last minute business that I was unable to before because I was always working during the day. It also leaves me without a paycheck for the last week…damn, damn, me…(oh yeah, and rent is due on the 1st.)

I should be stressed out about this moneyless situation, but I AM the youngest in my family and an only child so….basically I’m spoiled beyond belief. My cousins (all who were sent Christmas cards that contained a deposit slip from my bank account) should take care of me for a week. It’s only temporary — I do have a new job beginning soon.

Part of this makes me want to just extend my vacation, but my friend in Arizona has already taken off so much of work…damn, damn, damn.

Oh well — any vacation is good…and maybe it will get rid of this feeling that I have a huge “screw me” sign posted on my forehead.

It is, yet another, government holiday. Yet, I am here at work slaving away. Well, not really. I’m just sitting here just in case the phone might ring and need to be answered.

It’s only rang twice all day.

You’d think that my boss would’ve given me the day off — but we know that’s not the type of boss he is. He came in for about 15 minutes today and then left to go home. I’ve been here since 8:15 this morning.

I wanna go home.

Oh yeah, I haven’t told him yet. I am placing my resignation in his inter-office mailbox. I feel so guilty for doing it that way, but ALL of Friday and most of the 15 minutes he was in here today, he yelled at me…and well, I’m at my wits end. Just the teensiest bit of confrontation and I’d be crying like an itty bitty baby. See that’s what happens when I get mad, I cry.

And to make matters worse, the stress from actually having to deliver him the news has given me two of the most god-awful migraines over the weekend. So yeah, I’m chickening out by delievering the news to him in a very sly, non-confrontational way…but I don’t care. My head hurts…and I need a dark room.

Yes, I am quoting Spider-Man!

Today is going to be a rough day. I can already sense it and it’s only 9:57 in the morning. (Well, that’s what the computer clock says.) Today is the day where I tell my boss that I’m only going to be working for him for two more weeks. Today is the day where my working environment may or may not (though I’m thinking it will) change for the worst.

I realize that I’m leaving them in a pretty shitty position. There is no one primed and ready to take my spot, and his daughter is roughly 6 months pregnant. (She is the one that I replaced when she started graduate school and took as a stockbroker only to hate that job months later.) She is pretty much unemployed and works here on occasion, like when I’m taking three days off next week to go to Arizona. This leaves them approximately two to three months to find a suitable replacement for the both of us.

I’m not leaving my job because I hate my boss — it’s just that I’ve hated my job for the past six or seven months. I am generically a happy person who wakes up bubbly and happy and that hasn’t happened for the past 7 months because I loathe with a capital ‘L’ coming to work. The worst part is that I had told him at the end of the year that I had anticipated working for him for one more year. The thing is, that I just can’t and manage to keep my sanity at the same time. There’s too much going on here and I really just need something else.

His family and I have become really close. I was in his daughter’s wedding and I’ve spent lots of time with them at big family functions and such. (And maybe that’s when I started to hate my job — when the boss/employee lines became incredibly blurred.)

And so today — I must let my boss down gently…tell him that it’s nothing personal but that I just need to move progressively towards my career goals. After all, the new job offers tuition reimbursement for my major, some very nice benefits, and a pay raise. I surely couldn’t turn that down, right?

So if anyone out there believes in prayer — say a quick one for me, because I almost feel like the conversation I’m about to have with my boss is going to be worse than any ‘relationship breakup’ conversation I’ve had in the past.

Why? Because I have been officially offered a job.

And it’s not every day that you go out seeking a position that is just less stressful than the one you’re in, that you get one AND you get a great $2 an hour raise. Yep…I am ecstatic.

It’s also with a bank and since I’ve finally decided that I’m going to major in accounting, working with a bank is a great place to be. All that nifty tuition reimbursement and everything. So finally I’m almost completely happy with my life on all fronts. The only exception is the roommate issue (dirty dirty woman!) and well, the lease is up June 30th.

Things are finally turning around…and I’m confident that I’m making all the right decisions.

It seems that I’m creating my own family dysfunction right now.

My mother is dating a guy who has a ten year old son and a twentysome year old daughter. Ironically, that’s the same age range as me. We did not know this guy’s age until they went out on their first date. My mother looks much younger than her age (which is 30-some years older than me) and we’re often mistaken for sisters. She then finds out that he is 16-17 years younger than her. My boyfriend has three kids, 12, 10, and 8. Unable to do math quickly, off the top of my head, I asked her, “how old is your guy again?” She looks at me and says jokingly, “I didn’t want to tell you, I didn’t want you to steal him.” My boyfriend for the past year is the same age as the guy she’s dating.

*If you can’t find the humor in this situation, I’m afraid there isn’t a funny bone in your body.*

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you’re my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentine’s day

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But don’t you change one hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentine’s day

*I’m not big on Valentine’s Day as a whole. In fact, for the second year running, the boy and I have decided not to celebrate it. (Ok — we HATE Valentine’s Day!) Plus he spoils me on all the other days of the year, so why is Valentine’s Day so special? Oh that’s right, it’s not…

But this year, there’s this adorable child — that makes me smile. He’s my Valentine this year and I plan on taking him out to dinner while his parents go out and celebrate in whichever way they choose.*

Her: We’ve been dating for three months. I asked him if he was my boyfriend and he freaked out on me.

Me: Sh*t. I would have too…

My friend didn’t get much compassion from me as I DETEST labels. I’m not sure whether it’s because I don’t care or rather, I find labels silly. It’s probably more of the latter as I truly believe it’s less about labels and more about communication. I mean, if you’re exclusively dating, having sex with each other, or WHATEVER else exclusively — why do you have to attach boyfriend/girlfriend to it. The way I look at it, until some guy proposes to me, I’m still pretty much single…at least that’s the box I have to check when I file my taxes each year.

Maybe it’s because labels tend to imply a sense of ownership as in now I’m “someone’s girlfriend.” I don’t like the idea of losing myself in another person. I’m still very much me. In fact, I prefer being referred to as just some brunette in the corner who’s name I didn’t bother to learn, rather than “so and so’s girlfriend.” But then again, that’s just me.

I’d been with my current boy du jour for eight months before he uttered the word “girlfriend” in reference to me. I remember thinking, “oh that’s what I am?” and just continuning on with my meal. Most of my girl friends were so excited…they kept muttering things like “it’s official,” but the way I saw it, it was an official relationship when we agreed to date exclusively. I didn’t need a title to figure out that he cared about me and only wanted to be with me…only action…and that is exactly what he showed me.

This is a rather short post but…

Why is it that when people begin dating someone they’re desperate to attach some kind of label to the situation? Why is it that “dating” just doesn’t suffice?

I should’ve known when I raised my glass and took that first shot of Tequila with my friends that it was going to be an interesting night. I should’ve also known that when I raised my glass and took that third and fourth shot of Tequila that I was now going to become prey to every annoying guy in the bar despite the fact that I wasn’t drunk yet.

The bar that we went to had three levels of fun. The first being a dance floor; the second had a pool hall-sports bar feel; the third, the ultimate lounge are – swanky lighting and the like. For those of you who don’t know — I’m a pool shark. Well, not really, but I take my pool seriously when I play and I enjoy playing competitively. I’ve only hustled once, and decided to get the heck out of there because honestly, I was surrounded by ‘ghetto fabulousness’ when I did it and I knew the police response time (should anything erupt) would be VERY slow.

Last night, however, my friend and I decided to go upstairs and play a friendly game of pool. Most likely because neither one of us could see straight. We picked out a table and were immediately approached by the guys at a nearby table. The first words out of his mouth were “what do you think you’re doing? you don’t look like you can play pool…”

Now, I LOVE a good challenge, but I was tipsy and therefore, my defenses were up and I immediately started sh*t-talking, something I don’t usually do until I’ve actually WATCHED someone play. So I responded, “excuse me? Don’t you think you should wait until you’ve seen me play before making those judgments, or should I go out into my car and grab my cue stick and proceed to beat your a** with it.”

His response: “You want to put money on it?

My response: “You hustlin’?”

His respone: “You playing?”

My response: “I take my pool very seriously. I don’t play with amateurs, and I don’t think you want to let your boy see you taken out by a woman.”

He then moved into his Mr. Smooth routine…asking me if I had a boyfriend, to which I responded “yes.” And then he said, “well, you always need a friend…”

Why is it that when you tell a guy that you are taken…hopelessly happily in love with someone absolutely wonderful, that they proceed to tell you that you can use a friend? The truth is, I don’t need a friend! I have friends..those are my guy friends that I know aren’t trying to get in my pants. Those are my guy friends that I’ve had since I was five years old. Those are my homies, my roaddogs…the guys that I laugh and cry with. The guys who don’t mind if I show up at their houses in sweats and without makeup. The guys who I’ve wrestled with, who have broken my arm (though not intentionally) and have scared the sh*t out of any guy that has ever approached me. They are like my older brothers.

But I digress…

He then asked my name, which I promptly informed him that it didn’t matter since he wouldn’t be seeing me again anyway. And then his boy tapped me on the shoulder and said, “ten dollars I can make this shot.” (Yeah, while boy #1 was chatting me up, boy#2 ran the table on his a**). I turned around and told him, “I’m not giving you $10 for a shot I can make in my sleep.”

Boy #1 then took my hand (ewww…) and proceeded to tell me that he had more to offer me than my man did. “I have a house…Does your man have a house? I spoil my women…Does he buy you nice things?”

And I responded: “Are you trying to impress me? It’s not working.”

This is just a song that’s been in heavy rotation in my car this week…so it’s my friday video. Enjoy!