…the way forward…

There’s nothing better about a Friday night at my favorite bar. Ok, so maybe it’s not quite my favorite place, but the bartenders are nice, the bouncers flirtatious, and the people amusing. All in all, it’s a night of great fun.

Towards the end of the night, I found myself standing alone talking to one of the bouncers when this other guy (oh so ghetto) comes up and interjects himself into the conversation. Not one to be too rude (when I’m drinking at least) I engage in what I hope to be a very short conversation.
Me: So um, what do you do?
Him: I’m a doctor.
Me: Really? (The really was very overexaggerated. Here I am looking at this guy in a huge white tee and gold chains around his neck. Nothing screamed doctor, let alone even educated.) So what school did you go to?
Him: University of Dayton.
Me: UD? Really….

You know, there’s more to this conversation, but it’s not worth it. He said he went to medical school at the University of Dayton, which is odd seeing that the University of Dayton does not even have a medical program. What? No Med School? Where did this guy go?

My friend Christy is doing this amazing thing! She’s walking 60-miles (fortunately spread out over 3-days) in support of breast cancer research and the Susan G. Komen foundation. The walk is almost 3 weeks away and she still has over $900.00 to raise. (If she doesn’t raise this, she can’t walk! — All the money still goes to the foundation, but what a major bummer to not be able to even participate!)

So, I’m out here, trying to help! PEOPLE DONATE SOMETHING!

It’s a great cause and she’s been wanting to do this for years. One of the main reasons I’m saying something on my blog is because, I can’t believe how many people won’t even donate $5.00. It’s a good cause people!!!

So here I am, making a public plea — help Christy make the walk!

And if you can’t donate something at this time, I understand. Times are hard, gas is expensive, and we tend to date people 1,000 miles away from us (oh wait, that’s just me!)…but pack your lunch one day and help Christy by donating $5.00.

For me personally, I’m not going to park in the expensive lot this week (I’m going to walk from timbuktu), and I’m going to take my lunch from home and donate what I don’t spend. It’s the least I can do for such an amazing woman.

I’m back after spending a weekend in Rochester, NY for Carifest 2006 reconnecting with my Bajan roots.

And as always, when you spend too much time with Bajans, you come back talking with a very distinct accent, and now no one understands what the hell I’m saying. It’s probably better off this way.

I will post pictures, I will tell stories, tomorrow. But right now, I’m just exhausted. I’ll try to read blogs today, but who knows, because I’ll be at work.

A guy who I thought was just a friend sent me the following text message.

I like you.

Simple. Well stated. Except, I had no response for that.

I like him too, but not in that dating sense of the word. I like him as a friend, and I didn’t know how to respond and not lead him on. So I sent nothing in reply.

I tried to call him back hours later because I had some questions for him.

Why the hell would he like me? The whole time that we’ve hung out, I’ve been loud, obnoxious, sometimes crass. I’ve definitely not been trying to impress.

Everyone tells me that he’s a nice guy. And that’s true, he probably is. But during our first conversation, I gave him “the speech.” The “I’m not looking for a relationship, nor am I looking for a fuck buddy, casual sex kind of thing. I want someone I can hang out with and watch the game with. I want someone who knows what I’m doing on Sunday and won’t call me until HALFTIME. But I don’t want a boyfriend” speech.

Between that and now, I’m not sure how we got to this random text message declaring his “like” for me.

I’m tired of all my friends saying I should “give him a chance.” He’s not really my “type” anyway. And I know, maybe I should explore something outside my preferences, but my preferences aren’t really all that shallow. I want someone who is focused, dedicated, and knows where they’re going in life. Someone who desires to be successful and not just satisfied in their current situation. Someone who wants more than living in this city. Someone who not only has a “dream” of owning their own business, but has seriously thought about a business plan and is truly putting their plan into motion.

This guy has none of that. He looks unkept at times (though this could be related to his job as a cook), but he’s the same age as I am and still lives at home. Apparently, he’s still saving money to get his own place. (What has he been doing since the age of 18?)

So am I wrong to be keeping this guy at arm’s length as just a friend?

A few things happen when you’re newly single.

First, someone in the internet world informs EVERY SINGLE online dating site and they start sending you emails claiming that there are “1,000 singles ready to meet you!” Eh, whatever.

The next thing is, you do really stupid things.

No, I did not sign up for an online dating site, however, I did go out and get drunk. Not drunk falling all over the place, but drunk enough that a guy asked me out on a date and all I had enough sense to remember was where he worked and that he’d be working nights. I didn’t exchange phone numbers or anything.

Fortunately, the area of town where we met was my old neighborhood, but the chances of running into this man again and remembering what he looks like as my memory (as great as it is) of the night fades is getting slim.

Oh cell phone, why did your battery die when I needed you?

I’m not sure I would actually go on the date with the guy. I just don’t feel much in the way of dating and I’d hate to bring someone along on the emotional train wreck I’m already on. I’d rather get my sh*t together first before involving someone else. There’s nothing like unnecessary emotional baggage to make anything go sour fast!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!

aaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!

What was that you might ask?

The sound of my little sister shrieking at the top of her lungs because there was a spider on the floor. Upon noticing the spider on the floor she dropped her pants (she was doing laundry at the time) on top of the spider causing said spider to “disappear.”

She then, in frightened hysterics, asks me “what do I do? Where did it go? I have to kill it. I’m scared!”

I have no doubt that this spider was of the small variety. Virtually small and harmless, but to my sister, it was ENORMOUS. She shares this fear of bugs with my mother.

She refuses to move the pants that fell atop the spider in fear of it running out somewhere and getting her. She must clean the apartment however, because the landlord is showing her apartment tomorrow.

Um, yeah…Dilemma?

My solution: Sleep on the couch because you know you’re going to be scared of the spider climbing all the way up to your bed and getting you.

Her response: But I have to clean!

My solution: Do it in the morning. By that time the spider will have retreated to whatever crack in the wall he came out of.

Her response: He came out of a crack in the wall?

I know it’s mean, but sometimes, she’s just so amusing…um, I meant amazing.

I’m returning back to work today…and with lots of apprehension. Over my vacation, I realized how much I just wanted to be able to work part-time and go to school full-time. It’s just not possible at this moment as it is very rare to find a part-time job that offers health benefits. Damn benefits!

I’ve missed work slightly. Why? Because I’ve spent more money than necessary by drinking and entertaining myself during my vacation. I’ve also realized how expensive I am so I must get back to the daily grind.

I’ve had many conversations with Mr. Man, enough to make me unsure of everything. I’ve decided that I’m just not going to talk for a few days since I always seem to talk myself into a whole. A conversation that starts out all lighthearted and well-meaning, often times ends up with me spouting off at the mouth, “well, I certainly didn’t ask you to be with me!” (Yeah, that may have been how we ended up here in the first place…lol).

But now it’s off to work….wish me luck perhaps?