new phone!
I always get excited when I get a new piece of technology. Today, it’s a new BlackBerry and so far I am thrilled. Add to that, a wordpress app so that I can update my blog and I am the happiest girl in the midwest.
Now if only I could find interesting things to blog about. 
…typical…
Vegas. Only 48 hours. And like 3 pictures.
It might be just me, but I really enjoy the company I’m with and I forget to take pictures. Not to mention that every time I see a “tourist” snapping pictures in front of something spectacularly beautiful, it makes me laugh because the background usually outshines the person.
I had a great time though…and I realized a few things. I missed Matt…in a way that I had never even imagined. And I wonder why I spent the last two years fighting everything that I knew was right.
Our relationship has never been conventional. And maybe it’s because I hate all things conventional that I love the way we are so much.
It just seems that my family (being somewhat conservative religiously) have been trying to force me in that direction — and well, I’ve refused to believe.
I don’t really believe in marriage. And the jury’s still out on the whole kid thing. I know that if I do want to have some (specifically with Matt) I’m going to have to make a decision relatively soon — because he doesn’t want to be too old. But that’s that — and well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
But for now, I’m going to enjoy the fact that him and I had a great time…and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have the chance to be with him again.
…Vegas…
It’s hard to believe that five years ago I was doing the exact same thing I’m doing now — navigating the dating scene and coming up horribly empty. However, it was about this time five years ago that I met Matt.
After five years of on-again-off-again bullsh*t (and I’ll admit that it was all my fault), we find ourselves exactly back where we started. Just older. And wider…and maybe a tad bit wiser.
This Friday, we’ll be heading off to Vegas and I am very much excited. It’s been a long time since we’ve been able to enjoy a weekend away just due to our lives being hectic, us not being together, or any other myriad of things that have kept us apart for the better part of two years. But we have always remained great friends — and for that I am forever thankful.
I had other hopes for this month for myself, but it seems like once again somebody bigger than me had other plans for me — and better ideas. I am simply along for the ride!
…excited…
I’m completely excited. Matt has arranged for us to go to Vegas in a little over a week. I feel exactly like I did when we met 5 years ago and each trip was an adventure, planned with little notice, and absolutely amazing. I am even more excited that this trip will involve two of my favorite things: football and poker.
Other than that, I’m just kinda plodding along steadily with school. This quarter is my “quarter off” and I’m only taking two classes. I’m loving it because it’s allowed me to get back in the gym like I want to (I’ve lost 5 lbs in the past 1 1/2 weeks) and I haven’t done any diet modifications, just cardio.
Anyway, I think the rest of this year is going to be amazing. I can’t wait.
…as quickly as it started…
It was over. Over the weekend I broke up with the guy I was seeing. My heart just wasn’t in it, and I felt it was quickly approaching the friend zone…so I needed to help it out a bit there.
And though, I’m sad that some things had to happen like they did, I’m even more appreciative of my good friend Jay who stepped up (as he always has) and made the rest of my day wonderful.
So I’m single again (which should make my planned Vegas trip more interesting) and I’m quite alright with that.
the first step
I took the first step, and I went back to the gym. I was only able to get about 35 minutes in on the elliptical before I felt like I wanted to quit….but nonetheless it’s a start. I’m sure I’ll be back to my hour long elliptical sessions soon enough, and then I can move on to weights, etc.
Going to the gym definitely improved my mood. I was irritable, cranky and well — maybe I was evil. Work has been stressing me out lately, and I’ve been dealing with a couple of other unrelated issues with friends. It’s definitely been hard.
Since I’m not one to just “go casually” to the gym, I’m going hard. I’ll be back there tomorrow! And maybe I can get a 3 mile walk/run/jog done in the morning.
…unhappiness is working for corporate…
I miss my old job. I never thought I’d ever say that, but it’s true. I miss the comforts of working for only one person. I miss not having to deal with corporate crap. I miss wearing whatever I wanted to wear to work. I miss yelling at my boss and not getting reprimanded. I miss my boss yelling at me (even when it wasn’t my fault) and then taking me out to lunch. Ok — maybe not that last part because it seems slightly dysfunctional.
Today, at my lovely corporate job, I had my mid-year review (nevermind the fact that it’s now September). There were many things wrong with this review. First, they changed all of our performance standards but didn’t let anyone know what they were. Two, I’ve never ever been coached for anything.
The scorecard reads something like this: 1 – low performance 2 – vital performance 3 – exceeds performance.
I’m a hard worker and I keep to myself.
My rating was 1.8.
One of the standards wasn’t even related to something I could control. A bit of a department scoring thing and my departments sucks as a whole so it brought my average down.
The rest just sucked entirely.
Now, I don’t have fear because in reality, I can have a 2 by the end of the year and be in my boss’ good graces, but I am hoping that I can escape this corporate hell hole for something entirely different by the end of the year. In other words, I need a new job.
I’m tired of being measured on things that I don’t know about, not being coached to, or can’t control.
